Quotes From Elway's World - Tough Questions

Reading my sons new Pirate book, yet again, and he suddenly takes note of one of the facts about Christians.

And, here we go...

Elway: What is a Christian, Mommy?

Me: Well Bear, do you remember the book about Baby Jesus? 

Nods

Me: Remember I told you, that baby was Jesus Christ?  He was a very good man who taught others to be very good, and so people celebrate His birth and other events of His life. Remember Christmas is His birthday?? 

He nods.

Me: Yeah.. well, we try to be good like Him all the time and that's called being Christian.

Elway: Being a good boy is being Christian?

Me: Well..yes.

Elway: But the book said Christians are pirates...

Me: Well, I know Bear... and that doesn't make sense does it?

Elway: No, Momma.

Me: Well, I think the book means that the pirates try to be Christians.

He nods. And thinks. And turns the page and there is pictures of pirate weapons. Cannon balls, cutlasses, blunderbusses, rifles, grenades.... We have already been over this page before, but he wants the words all read to him again while he makes shooting, and booming kapows and bangs. 

I am seriously regretting this book right about now. 

Elway: Mommy, do Christians still exist?

Me: Yes, of course Bear. everywhere people are Christians. Think of how many houses Santa has to go to at Christmas. We celebrate Christian holidays Bubba!!

Elway: But we don't have guns...

Me: Bear! Mommy told you. Those pirates are not normal, regular, type Christians!! They are not doing a very good job of being Christians if they are stealing from people because stealing is wrong, right?? Maybe the pirates were trying to protect good people from bad people, but they had to be pirates to do that...

I really wish I'd paid more attention in History.

He nods.

Me: Besides. Of course we don't have guns! We live in Canada. Canadians don't like guns in general. We don't want there to be real shooting anywhere in the whole world.

Elway: But pretend shooting is OK with my pirate ship and cannon blaster?

Me: Only in Elway's World and if no one gets hurt.

Elway: (BIG smile) What about in Mommy's world in the bathtub?

Me: Sure. There too.