My Isla

So. I write an awful lot about my son, Elway, but so far not too much about my daughter as yet. Well, just thought tonight I'd say why. (Even though I will probably cry doing so)
First, Elway, light of my life, is a total piece of work. He talks, pretty constantly. It's interesting, even hilarious at times. I will never ever run out of commentary with him around. Writing about him is like breathing really.
Second, *sigh*.... it is hard for me to put into words how I feel about my daughter. I never knew how much I wanted a girl. I even thought I didn't want one, because, I was scared. I still haven't exactly figured out exactly why, but it's the truth. In fact, I had a terrible time trying to come to terms with having a second child at all. Not because I didn't want to sacrifice my time, my figure, my sleep, but rather because I felt so much guilt at dividing my attention and love from my son. And I was terrified that something might jeopardize my health and take me away from Jim and Elway. Or even that I would suffer postpartum.... I was just very emotional and scared.

And then she was born. I can only imagine the expression on my face when they said "it's a girl". Relief and joy and wonder.... When Elway was born, it was a little different. I didn't know, but I knew. With Isla, I couldn't rely on any intuitions. Just couldn't. Anyways, it was as if I'd been missing her, waiting for her to be with me again. I'd found my girl. I just love her so.
Third. How am I supposed to say anything about her without just gushing all over the place? What good would that do anyone? And she is always right in front of me, almost always smiling, just waiting for me to look at her and smile or to hold her. She is just pure love. See?