Generation To Generation Part 2 - The Power Of Joseph Campbell

The Best Things In Life Are Free

When I think back to my childhood, I hear vinyl. Yellow Submarine, The Gambler, and Soolaimon... I hear the Teddy Bear's Picnic by Anne Murray, and Old Blue Eyes singing about how he did it his way. I hear my daddy singing along, and making everything feel like musical theater. And when life is unkind, or confusing, .... or awesome, these are the songs I hear. Strange as that may seem, it is merely a testament to how my love of music was cultivated by my parents from a time before I can even fully remember.

I intend to provide an abundance of culture for my children, both musical and otherwise. I hope to pass on the wisdom of my experience, with openness in general.

Perhaps here in lies the real difference between parents of the distant past and the more modern parenting philosophy. That we should do our best to conceal our true nature from our children, shelter them from the ways of the world, has become a thing of the past. Now, more often than not, parents say they will discuss sex openly with their kids, talk about drugs, discuss the relevance of outside religions, recognize the rest of the world a an extension of our own, and not as a far off land where starving and injustice don't matter. Again, perhaps, I will use music as a vehicle to bridge the gaps before us. Yes, I think so.

Read The Book, Listen To Your Life's Soundtrack, To Your Child, The News..... I Think You Will Agree!

There are many works by Joseph Campbell that a more than worth reading... I have read many and recommend you joining me, however I am giving just this one, "The Power Of Myth" a glowing recommendation right here and now, and for very good reason. 

This interview with Bill Moyers it is the most comprehensive overview of Campbell's opinion that the youth of today need "Myths To Live By" (another wonderful book of his). I have given this book to so many people over the years - hoping to convey a message that is also the point of this blog.

Mr. Campbell, in all his brilliance, discusses how present and future generations have difficulty finding fellowship with antiquated religions. Never undermining their significance, he points out how irrelevant the stories, of the commonly ascribed to faiths of the world, are to the fast forward lives that people live today, and the problems that modern people now contend with. It makes sense to me to think that young people now lack structure in their beliefs and so create their own order in the form of gangs, and cults and, less obviously, in their own psyche. 

As an interesting side note; it is not that commonly known, but George Lucas created Star Wars because he knew Campbell, and agreed that a modern mythology was needed. Enter the 'Force'.

It is my contention that if our future generations need icons, and idols, and words to live by, then we should actively try to find a way to provide them with a foundation. 

Well, what better place to look than in the form of music? If we look to the soundtrack of our lives, there just might be a platform of understanding how we, their role models, became the people that we are. They may see our mistakes, and our misgivings, but they will also see our passion, our style, our battles, and triumphs. Blueprints in melodies, if you will.

Read the book, listen to your life's soundtrack, to our children, to the news.... I think you may too agree!


Read my whole article at http://www.squidoo.com/the-importance-of-passing-on-the-best-music-generation-to-generation

Elway's Advent Day 1- Stages Of Acceptance

My son got to have the first chocolate from his advent calender this morning. We bought it at the farmers market before I went to the Santa Claus parade on November the 12th . That means that I have been pestered for the yummy chocolate contents, for 18 days until this morning.

Ahh. Sweet relief, right?

Think again.

_____________________________________________________________


Elway just woke from his unusually short nap. He walks in the room, all bed headed rubbing his eyes.

Elway: Momma. (His words are snippy.) I am up and it's a new day. Could I please have my chocolate calendar?
Me: Oh, Bubba... Daddy and I told you earlier. One a day. You have only just had a nap, so you still have to wait until tomorrow.
Elway: UGGGGGHH!

He stomps out of the room with his hands on his hips. Stops. Turns around and marches right back in.

Elway: Momma!!
Me: Yes...... (I shoot him a look that lets him know he needs to watch his tone with me)
Elway: (Sugary & with a big smile) May I please have a chocolate? I had a nap like a good boy and I think it is tomorrow AND I am right!

I laugh (I can't help it) and his smile disappears.

Me: Bear, honey... it just doesn't work that way. Just because you think it's tomorrow doesn't mean it is.
Elway: Yes it does mean!!!
Me: You mean, it is mean... right?
Elway: No... I'm not mean, you are!
Me: No Bear, I didn't say you were mean, I said ... oh nevermind. You aren't mean. I am not mean. Capiche?
Elway: No. You get me a chocolate and I am capiche.

He has this look on his face like he is going to explode.

I shake my head 'no'. He twists his mouth while his wheels turn on a new plan. He leaves the room.

A minute later I hear curious noises, but I am nursing Isla and don't want to get up.

Me: Elway??? What are you doing??
Elway: Nothing!!
Me: Really? I am coming in there....
Elway: Ok, ok... I am not doing anything..

I go into our room where up high on the tall dresser his advent calender is out of reach. I can tell from the blankets that he was pushing futilely on the bed to try to get on the dresser.

Me: Elway. You cannot climb up there, Honey. it's too high and dangerous. I don't want you to try that again. Do you hear?

I receive a rather sour expression and it is accompanied with a stomp out of the room again. I resume nursing Isla (whom is crying from the interruption of course.)

A good 5 minutes later I am done nursing. He has been very eerily quiet. He walks calmly into the room, and puts his hand on my back and cups my ear with his other hand to whisper: His intent is to be very, very menacing.

Elway: Momma... do you hear? Let me make you understand. If I don't get a chocolate from my calender.. I am going to make mashed potatoes from your toes. Capiche?

I laugh out loud. I don't want to.. I want to tell him to go for a time out, but OMG it's too funny!! And now he is furious...



Elway: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME???
Me: Oh, Bear.. you are not having any more chocolate... oh, you are too funny... I am sorry..
Elway: I AM NOT FUNNY, I AM SCARY!!
Me: I know you think you are.... (I gain composure now...) but you can't scare me. Go for a time out. You cannot threaten your Mommy and get away with it.

His hands are on his hips.

Me: Go now or else I will not let you have your advent calender at all.. If it is going to be a problem, then Daddy can have your chocolates.
Elway (Starts cry-talking on his way to his room) I tried to give Daddy a chocolate this morning... BUT YOU... YOU wouldn't let us eat more chocolate!!
Me: I know you tried to share with Daddy...but Elway, that isn't what advent calenders  are for!
Elway: (I think he says) Are they for happy boys to eat??
Me: They are for happy boys, once a day, until Christmas.
Elway: OK.....(still crying)... do I have to stay in time out? I was just joking!
Me: Oh, you were, were you?
Elway: Ya-huh!!
Me: Yah? Well I don't think so. 2 minutes time out.

After about 30 seconds.

Elway:  (Yelling but nicely) Mommy??
Me: (Speaking, because he is only ten feet away from me and there is pretty much never a need to yell to be heard in this house) Yes?
Elway: Could I have an Arrowroot?
Me: Yes... in a minute after time out.

A minute and a half goes by. And I get him and he comes to the kitchen to retrieve his Arrowroot. It's in his hand.

Elway: Mommy? Can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure.
Elway: Would you like to trade me my Arrowroot for a Chocolate?
Me: No.
Elway: Just asking...
Me: Yeah... I know.

And I have how many days left of this?? Oh right... 23. I really have to go shopping now!

Smoke Free All By Yourself - The Time Is Now!

Every Person Has Their Own Reason To Quit - And They Are All The Right Reasons

I used to smoke approximately 2 packs a day. I did this for 15 years. Just so you know, smoking 2 packs a day is practically a full time job. Of course, I already had a full time job, so smoking had to be done constantly when not working. Frequently I had a smoke going while showering, while bike riding, while eating,  vacuuming, etc. If you have yet get the picture, I used to wake in the middle of the night just to smoke. A lot. Not to mention,  that if I didn't have a smoke in hand, I was likely thinking somewhere in the back of my mind (at least) about the next time I would have one. I even had nightmares about running out of cigarettes - what a ridiculous waste of perfectly good sub-conscience brain space! It's really a wonder I managed to do anything that wasn't really cigarette related at all. Honestly, I am not too certain I did much that wasn't smoking related. Perhaps that is why I never accomplished very much in my 20's. Seriously.

Here Is The First Picture Of Me Smoke Free!

With My Darling Husband Jim

 

I quit when I first discovered I was pregnant (Oops) with my son.
It took me less than 7 days. It didn't hurt.
In fact I could have quit faster, but having been such a heavy smoker I feared the worst for my child if I put my body into shock, so I weaned very gradually for one week. My last few drags tasted awful... just as they always had!! Only now I could admit it- how much I hated the stupid little masters of my life.
I know what you're thinking, as I've heard it before. 'You quit because of the baby, that's different.' Though this may be the case to some extent, there is so such more to the picture.
I always wanted to be a mom. When I was finally having a baby, it made me realize that I wanted to live out my life. That things that I dreamed I could be when I was young could come into fruition. I learned that my actions could have consequences to the negative effect, or the positive, and it was only my choice of which one.
My reason to quit, although it was very important to me,was not just to protect my unborn child. My reason was that I really wanted to live my whole life and now nothing was going to take my future away from me!
After I had found my reason to quit I became strong in knowing that I was worth the effort!! Well I was, and I am, and that is why it was so easy. It can be easy to quit quickly, painlessly, for free, and forever for anyone, who knows that they are worth extending a hand to if they were hanging over a cliff. You just have to extend your own hand, be your own superhero! Now that sounds like fun, doesn't it?

What To Expect From Withdrawal

Big Mean Cravings Wont Stand A Chance

Big Mean Craving sneaks up on you - WHAM! It didn't expect you to be so prepared. Honestly, the cravings are about as hard to manage as this:

Day One. Like saying no to Forbidden Nookie. Except this is easier because you need to go to get cigarettes, buy them, unwrap them, and fire them up. Usually Forbidden Nookie will do all those things on their own.

Day Two. Like saying no to chocolate peanut butter cheesecake. Tough. But not impossible. Repeat after me. 'A moment on the lips, A lifetime on the hips'. And when you say no one time, the feeling of superiority rushes through you replacing that need for a high.

Day Three. Like saying no to Forbidden Nookie offering you chocolate peanut butter cheesecake that you have been wanting and haven't had in three days. Sounds too good to be true because it is. If you cave today you will immediately get a wicked headache, possibly the runs, and when you look in the mirror you'll swear you are aging as you breathe. Day three is the hardest but only if you cave. And you wont do that because you will use all the avoidance of craving tricks all day long until you finally rest and have psycho dreams (just being honest).

Day Four. You're done. People who say 21 days and other numbers out of the air just want you to buy their product. Sure you will still have urges, but don't you have urges you ignore every day? I mean, sometimes I want to just hit people... but I dont. No assault charges pending here...how about you?

Pat yourself on the back. You are a non-smoker. You want this and now its done. Your vicious cycle, has just morphed into a self fulfilled prophecy that you are in control of. You want an active now, an active old age, you want not to age faster than your years, you want to avoid a multitude of awful diseases and ailments, you want to see your children's children marry, climb a mountain, sing on Broadway, or run a marathon. Maybe you just want to stop smelling bad, wasting your money (handing it over to huge companies that poison you and addict you for profit), looking stupid, getting cranky all the time, and setting a crap example for the little people in your world. Find your reason, I say, FIND YOUR REASON.

Your 'Go To' List of Craving Busters

(AKA Things You Should Do Anyways)

1. Drink water. By the time you get to pouring it... your almost through the worst part, and the hydration is always a good thing

2. Go look in the mirror and tell your self you are proud of your decision. Sounds cheesy but it works.

3. No mirror? Find a mantra. Dont say anything with the words smoking or cigarettes in it. You don't have a hate on for these words quite bad enough yet, but they are still negative. We want a positive mantra. I used to say (ahem) "I am the creator of my destiny, and I choose happiness." The mantra is good anytime anywhere.

4. Eat a carrot. The hand to mouth habit is a hard one for people. That was me. Orally fixated. Well don't revert to thumb sucking, grab a healthy snack. Try celery, which is actually a negative food- meaning: requires more calories to chew and digest than it contains, or cauliflower or broccoli - proven to help battle the bulge around your middle, or like I did have carrots. They are a little high in sugar but then you need no dip, and they are also great for your vision. Careful with the carrots though, apparently they are addictive. (Seriously, Google this, it's wild! Or check out my blog about it at http://merstarr.blogspot.com/2011/10/carrot-addiction-seriously.html

5. Workout. You don't have to go all out unless you want to. Just a quick stroll, or a set of sit-ups, some jumping jacks, throw around some weights, anything. Just 3 minutes of exercise, a handful of times a day, will seriously boost your metabolism, and will make you happy. Literally.

6. Catch some rays. If the weather wont allow, find a tanning salon. I don't recommend getting a tan, but a little light therapy goes a long way.

7. Write out your irritations when you are nic-fitting. Don't read them again for 1 week, then return to them and read how silly they seem. ;P

8.Call for support. A friend, a support line (see Quick References), Start by leaving me a message... you already know that I care!!

9. If there is some way to facilitate it, have some nookie. Endorphines are good. Self explanatory.

10. I believe that we all have music that can fully change our mood in a matter of seconds. Create a playlist on your iPod or fave music device that lifts you up, and keep it handy!

11. Usually I'd do ten, but here's one more for good measure. Save up all your smoke money one craving at a time. Every craving put $1 in a jar, then after you crave no more, put what you would have spent on smokes each week in there. Set a goal for something great! Pamper yourself with a healthy or luxurious treat, plan a  day trip to somewhere beautiful, book a spa day, save for an exercise bike, whatever will make you happy!! At the end of theday, when you think back on whatever you got up to, you will reflect "hey, I didn't need a cigarette to enjoy life today!" And that is the truth, every day.

Hope these help you out!! Remember... one day at a time is really very easy!!

The Truth Is

You Find A Reason and Then Decide- It Really Is That Simple

This is the truth that anyone who has truly quit for good and forever knows all about. When you really want to be a non-smoker, you will be a non-smoker. Every person I know that has "fallen off the wagon" views quitting smoking as a severing of personality, a cutting off of ones arm, an absence of identity, passion, completeness. Like a little carcinogenic stick could really be a best friend, and not just a weapon for self loathing and destruction.
Well, the truth is, quitting smoking reveals your true personality. The stressed out you will be relieved when you aren't feeling like there is something you are missing all the time (even while you smoke).
The truth is, that the arm you cut off is not yours at all. It's the arm of addiction. The one that points at you in the mirror with disdain for every failure to quit, for every acceptance that you 'quit quitting'. This is not only a mock arm, it is the arm of mockery. It is the extension of your thought that imagines that quitting is lame and smoking is cool. This very same arm promotes suicide, and heroin addiction. You REALLY don't need this arm. And it's not yours, so that's kind of creepy. Cut that thing off :).
The truth is that your identity has been absent for as long as you've been smoking. It is the number one reason, I believe, for why people start to smoke in the first place. Not so much a peer pressure, as a self pressure applied to define ones self. Human beings have an insatiable hunger to belong, and smoking seems like a club. It used to be a club for the attractive, alluring, even mysterious and elusive. Now it is a club for people who have very bad skin, teeth and nails. Who wheeze when they breathe, and cant catch their breath from the car to the front door. Yeah, lung disease, heart disease, impotence, cancer are a club all right, but Im certain the members would give anything to get off that VIP list.
Bottom line. We all have our reasons for wanting to quit. But if you don't have a reason to just quit... here's one. Love yourself. Want your future. I want it for you and we've never even met! 

10 Reasons To Love Jack Johnson

I felt like writing an article on Jack. Because I just love him, but also just so I could say I wrote an article on jack :)

We listen to Jack a whole bunch, possibly more than any other artist at our house. My kids are growing up with his gentle and honest voice singing important life lessons about being a good human, as a part of the soundtrack of their lives. For this I am so thankful, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

1. The music is beautiful and the vibe is so chilled. It is perfect for cuddling by the fire, coffee with a newspaper, a sunny day by the water, remembering the wonderful moments of your life, forgetting about a traffic jam, lulling my kids into a calm, a gathering with friends, and sing, sing, singing along What can I say, 'Jack, you warm my heart!'
2. He loves the planet. Jack and his band are always trying to raise environmental awareness. The environment is a prevalent theme in the charities he contributes to, and he even writes songs with eco-friendly messages and somehow makes them mainstream. Like "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle". (When I first heard the phrase, it didn't exactly scream popular culture to me.) Jack even has a 100 percent solar-powered recording studio on Hawaii's Oahu Island. Now that's cool.
3. He makes lemonade. Jack was poised to be a professional surfer and starting to receive due notice in the sport, but at age of 17 a severe injury laid him up for 2 months. Many people would become bitter over such an event, and wallow in their misery. Jack chose to take the opportunity to improve his guitar playing skills. No sour lemons there.
4. Mr. Johnson would probably not like to be called Mr.Johnson. Sorry Jack :)
5. Jack is humble. If you search high and low, you wont find any press refuting this fact. He lives in a great spot, has an awesome studio, surfs, plays guitar, sings and writes music. He is charitable, loves the environment, nature and his wife and kids and friends. Not a whole lot of glamour shots happening here.
6. Surfing is awesome. Film making is awesome. Being a singer/songwriter guitarist is awesome. Jack is kind of 'all round cool'. In another life time he and I were very tight.... I'm pretty sure.
7. He is wise. Behind the mellow exterior there is a high functioning mind. Reading his interviews you can learn a lot. He is seriously a very interesting man. Where as many celebrities only want to discuss how fab they are. Check out the interview links in this article. I particularly love what he has to say in the Mother Love interview about educating children on environmental issues.
8. Jack can really play guitar. You might not even notice how awesome the trademark strumming and string muting are in his music for being caught up in his dreamy voice and eloquent lyrics, but the man has skills.
9. Jack cares. His songs often a vehicle for messages of love and also of wisdom for how to act in this world, but he doesn't just talk the talk. Above and beyond the extensive list of causes he supports, he is responsible for the creation of a few charitable organizations including the All At Once Campaign, the Johnson Ohana Charitable, and the Kokua Hawaii Foundation. Learn more about Jack's charities at http://www.looktothestars.org .
10. Last but not least, he's so handsome. He's an example of when a human is nice to look at, and then you learn more about them, and it only makes you want to see more. The beauty is most definitely not skin deep. Nice catch Mrs. Johnson. Nice catch.

See the rest of my article with videos, interviews and more at 

http://www.squidoo.com/jack-johnson-the-voice-of-a-man

Peace & Love

The Unintentional Weight Loss Plan

I just figured out something interesting. Seeing as how I haven't quite enough time to fit a consistent workout into my daily routine, I am going to lose weight by being creatively lazy. Are you ready for this? Here is how.

It started out that was trying save money and still feed my carrot addiction. I have admitted to my problem but am not ready yet to quit.
(If you didn't read about check out http://merstarr.blogspot.com/2011/10/carrot-addiction-seriously.html where I explain the whole situation.)

 I had the thought that it is much cheaper to buy the big bag of whole carrots and cut them myself, than to buy embarrassing amounts of the bags of baby cut carrots. Rocket science, I know. So I got them home and as always, dove in. When I am out of carrots, there is always an urgency.

I was all proud of myself saving money that first day, and so it all felt very satisfying, especially the carrot part. But after the glow wore off, the chore of chopping the carrots grew tiresome. I discovered I disliked the prep-work involved intensely actually.

Cutting carrots is very annoying. They are rolley, and hard to cut at all, nevermind uniformly. Not to mention I suddenly had to bear witness to the imperfections of the vegetable. The little hairs? The stems that seem to bleed green into the whole end of the carrot? What an eye opener! Not just to the truth about carrots, but to my own snobbery. One more beef about the carrots was that the act of chopping them is very loud. No more sneaking into the fridge to grab a few and crunching as quietly as possible while the kids are sleeping. Now I may as well have a habit of slamming doors for how discreet I can be.

It is all very sad. But really, has more than halved my carrot intake. Which also means I am eating substantially less dip!

And that's when it hit me.

If I buy things I have to make myself to eat, perhaps I will be too lazy to make them and therefore wont have them to eat. This sounded good, but then I realized that it would waste money, and I won't do that, so I would have to go one step further.

I decided  I am going to blog all my recipes in my Mrs.F's Favorite Apron.  The act of writing will eat into my already very limited time for baking and cooking. Plus, I will hardly be able to blog about chopping carrots all the time, or get stuck on any one food, like perhaps Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies, which incidentally I will be baking tomorrow so look for the blog (My Cookies Rock).  No, I will need variety for the blog, so I will have to make things like Arugula Salad, which will be my dinner tonight! Do you see the method to my madness here?

Now there are yet a few glitches I need to work out. If I bake a whole batch of cookies, I will want to eat them, and that's not good... so I will bring at least half of them to our next playdate, and plan treats around events in the future as well! Problem solved and with an added bonus of everyone being happy I brought treats!

Another issue... if I am spending extra time in front of the computer typing up recipes, well my but won't exactly be melting away, will it??..... So, I will walk to the store especially to buy ingredients everyday. Lovely. We always walk Jim to work in the morning, so we will just add an afternoon stroll to the program.

There you have it. I can't think of any other problems with the plan. Except that I do so miss my baby carrots still...

Perhaps since I am going to be such a good girl with this new plan, I can treat myself to the baby cut carrots again. And now that I am in a great mood, I am off to make Arugula Salad dressing :)

Pop Quiz. Am I Cranky?

I just threw out my socks.

You're clever...was it:

a) because I am apparently un-coordinated while cleaning the cat litter
b) because the makers of compost bin bags should really refer to them as liners, seeing as how they don't actually hold anything once in use... Oh wait, they do call them liners
c) because I really shouldn't ever wear socks with sandals even in East Hamilton on garbage day and only to the curb
d) because Jim bought me these socks and he conveniently has always worked long hours on garbage day everywhere we have ever lived
e) all of the above

Quotes From Elway's World - He's Full Of One Liners Today

A friend of mine posted in our Mom Network on Facebook that she was patiently awaiting the end of the Terrible Twos. Oh... just wait I told her!! Age three seems to be when they turn into verbose, opinionated, hilarious, but exacerbating three's!! Thank goodness for the hilarious part...


We cannot find the remote, and it is "finally" time for a show.

Elway: You lost it Mommy!!
Me: I didn't have it last, Daddy did. (All true.)
Elway: Then Daddy is positively wicked fired!

Yes. That is what he said exactly.

______________________________________________________________________________


Having dinner.

Elway: Mommy?? Where is the rest?
Me: The rest of what?
Elway: I need some cheese.
Me: For your chicken?
Elway: For Jerry.
Me: Who is Jerry?
Elway: Hello? He's a mouse. That is why I need the cheese!

_______________________________________________________________________________


Earlier on we were drawing and Elway ran out of ideas after his octopus (which is totally going on my wall).

Elway: I don't know what to make.
Me: Make what ever you like.
Elway: What I like makes me happy.
Me: Yes.

This is what he did. 

_________________________________________________________________________________

After that, I had to go get the camera. Still he wanted something to create. I suggested a sandwich, then returned to putting away some laundry. 

Elway: MOMMY!! I made a sandwich!!!

I grabbed my camera and came in to find this,

He thinks he is pretty darn funny.

____________________________________________________________________________

Earlier still. My daughter was chewing on a toy that used to be his, causing him a little sibling rivalry that I had my eye on. I left the room for 2 seconds to get water for him at his request and heard something that sounded an awful lot like the toy flying across the room, and then Isla was wailing, and then Elway's little feet ran back across the room.

Me: Elway? What happened?

Elway: The toy is over there and she's sad.

Me: And how did that happen?

Elway: It was the wind.

Me: There is no wind inside the house. Wind only happens outside. 

Elway: Not in Elways World!! It's always windy inside in Elway's World!!!

Me: (Containing all jokes involving Elway's wind- because of course he will remember and use them when I don't want him too!) Did you take the toy from your sister?

Elway: No Mommy, there was a train that went by...

Me: Elway! There was no train! No wind. Now get the toy and give it back to Isla. 

Elway: I can't.

Me: And why not?

Elway: I am stuck to the floor with glue. 

Irritated now. I go and pretend to un-stick his feet. 

Me: Now go and give her that toy back. You need to share! (He hasn't like the toy since he was her age)

Elway: No. This is mine! And I did share with her!!

Me: What did you share, honey?

Elway: I let her play with the train!!

Yes... he meant the one in Elway's World. And I am nursing my daughter, so I can't even drink. 

Generation To Generation

The Importance Of Your Favorite Music

As we grow up, we inadvertently create the soundtracks of our lives. It isn't noticeable while it happens, but one day you look back and listen, and there it is. The most wonderful, awful, and sometimes seemingly unimportant moments, are attached as memories to all this wonderful music. Sometimes, a song will come on and trigger a memory, and you are feeling the way you felt back then, before you even know why. I'm pretty sure this is as true for me as it is for most people.
So tonight I was listening to some music on my iPod, and a few songs came on that I would definitely identify as being music from the soundtrack of my life. The I realized that the music was made long before my time. Some of this music, I discovered myself, for certain, but right now I am referring to the music passed on to me to listen to, and live to, by my parents. It occurs to me now, as a parent, how much it means to me that we share some of the same soundtrack, and we always will.

"Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes." -Bill Cosby

If The Music Defines The Generation, What Else Is It Responsible For?

The times are always 'a changin'' and so are the sounds that accompany each era. From blind optimism to political uprising, music has been a vehicle for messages from one tortured time to the next.
With every new hero/heroin or pop culture icon, a little cult forms in the listening public, and those believers hold onto the message of their chosen one like it's gospel.
To paraphrase, Joseph Campbell, (an American mythologist, lecturer and writer, most noted for his study of comparitive religion and mythology), said that the youth of today, are in need of a new religion. He said that the mythologies of the past are not reaching young people nowadays and so they seek their own sub-cultural societies, gangs, cults, etc. This, I believe has been the case for quite a long time.

If this is so, then we need to be listening to the soundtrack of their new belief structures, and moreover my point entirely, is that as parents we need to be passing on the best music from our generation and the great ones before us that were passed on to us. We need, to keep it real.
So many of the people that I knew throughout my youth, had zero knowledge of any music that wasn't in the top 40 in their life time. I can recall playing mixed tapes (yes tapes) as a teenager, and other teens I worked with asking me if the Led Zeppelin song I was playing was new, cause they thought it was pretty good. Yeah.. its 'pretty good' I'd said. What a travesty. I set them straight, but what a close call!! They could almost as easily moved on through life, become bankers, and never known who Led Zeppelin was. Enough said.

See the rest of this article with all (or lots of anyway) ''my music'' and more. Check it out at

http://www.squidoo.com/workshop/the-importance-of-passing-on-the-best-music-generation-to-generation

Late Frost Plea - A Haiku

Silent static lawn

sun thaws crisp blades, bent begging

Snow, blanket me soon.

Quotes From Elway's World- An Early Visit!!

I always wake about a minute before the first "Mommy!!" of the day. This morning, his voice was still sweet but a little stressed coming down the hall in the darkness.

Elway: Mommy!!! I think you better come see this!
Me: (Whisper yelling.)  Coming Bear..................
What is it Honey?

I can't see a thing as his room is darker (intentionally) than the rest of the house.


Elway: (Whispering) Momma. Do you see this? Someone was in my room!!
Me: What? No one was in your room Honey.
Elway: Yes they were!! It was snowing, so Santa came, but he didn't leave me a present! He just took my pillow, Mommy!! For his sleigh!!

I have been feeling around for my fluffy, blond, bedhead, and now I hold a foot. I reach for the lamp now-

Elway: See Momma, it's hard... NO PILLOW!!

I turn on the light and he is upside down with his head pushed against the foot-board.

Me: I spin him upright and hug him, scrambling up his blankets, which are everywhere.

Elway: Is it Christmas, Mommy?
Me: No Honey. December 25th. There are 15 days left in November... then 25 in December before Santa comes... See your pillow? Right here.
Elway: (Dismayed) December 25th?

I hug him more rubbing the chill off his arms.

Me: You're cold.
Elway: That's cause it was snowing!! Maybe Santa left my pillow... but put me upside down???
Me: Maybe.... probably checking in to see if you've been a good boy.
Elway: I have been today!!
Me: (Laughing) You just woke up!
Elway: Well he shouldn't have left me upside down with no blankets.
Me: Especially not when it is snowing... I will have to have words with him about that!
Elway: Send him a text.

I had to run and hug him after writing this down just now!! Christmas is for kids... but that's what makes it magical for parents!!

Quotes From Elway's World - Santa Claus Parade

So this weekend, Santa came to town. Neither my husband nor I really enjoy parades at all, but this wasn't about us. Christmas is for kids not parents.

I am seriously not a big fan of hauling both kids downtown by myself using public transit on an average day, never mind on a day when the whole city shows up. The concept of doing it all over again, gives me anxiety just sitting in my kitchen. Unfortunately for my nerves, Jim and I had been brainstorming on ways to improve our sons behavior (pretty common chat we have) and remembered that last year, we waited too long to take full advantage of the perk for parents of the season!  'Santa is watching and if you are naughty, he might not bring presents in his sleigh for you!!' What a wonderful opportunity to have a new means with which to bribe our son into better behavior. Upon this realization, I just couldn't let the parade pass us by!

Unfortunately the parade time, 2pm, made it impossible for the Bear to have his  nap. If only you all knew how truly brave I was to take on a 'no nap day' under these circumstances.

Earlier that day, we got up and went out with daddy for breakfast, then walked to the bank, and stopped at the little Farmers Market in our hood. So, I had to pre-pack my bag of tricks, for when we stopped home real quick before leaving again. It was going to be a very long day. I strapped Isla to my chest, and Elway got in the stroller and we were off. He was ridiculously excited and Isla seemed a little brighter eyed as well, the scent of adventure in the air.

We had a few stops to make on the itinerary. The library near us has been closed for a while, so we would go to the main branch, and my girlfriend Nina works at the Farmers Market so we would have an excuse to do a little browsing there. Then mosey on over to the parade and, like mother of the year, I will get them home in time to make supper, give baths, and have our bedtimes stories for night-nights. Piece of cake.

At first everything seemed to go according to plan. We stopped in to visit Nina at the candy stand where she works, made the fatal error of buying the advent calendar in Elway's earshot with almost 3 weeks to go before he can have the first chocolate. He showed signs of becoming a little thug as he tried to pilfer candies as soon as my back was turned. So I ta-taa-ed on his hand put them back on the shelf, finished up some chit-chat and we were off to the library.

It's a very open concept library, unlike our branch with it's completely contained children's floor. There is a view of the market below, that the bear really enjoyed. There is a 'whole wall of fishies' aquarium that struck his fancy as well. The farm toy table was spotted first and that was a pretty good time, but then he saw the Thomas the Train table with "a super windy bridge" and "WAY more trains than our library!!". This had all his attention and I knew would keep it. Which was a total blessing because, after trying the nursing room four times and getting excessive drool on my shirt I decided to nurse Isla, right smack dab in the middle of everything. This can be tricky if he isn't captivated and all of the sudden takes off. I am incapacitated to get after him in a big hurry without plunking Isla down in the stroller and running off with unladylike composure. But between the trains and the talkative lady beside me's son Kyle who was 9 and reported to have Tourette Syndrome occupying his attention, I felt it was a pretty safe bet that I could get  at a good feeding in Isla. He played quite well really. A few times he would try to hog a toy, or try to boss Kyle around, but Kyle was nobodies lackey. Kyle just put my Bubba right back in his place, and I was fine with that. Kyle's mom however, lets just be polite and say she was not my acquired taste for company. The acronym TMI comes to mind. In a matter of ten minutes I learned the 'challenges' of all her children and her husband, their faith, their homeschooling practices, where she and her hubby Nick hailed from, her entire family including her sisters and parents dietary requirements, her pets names, Frieda the cat and Ludwig the dog. I learned that they have a 1995 Dodge Caravan, where it is parked for the parade, where she parked for the last three years of parades, what snacks they brought, and which ones she would be purchasing at the market before they headed down there. There's more, and no I don't forget, but you get the idea.

I nursed, changed Isla's but, walked around picking out books, loaded up the stroller again, grabbed Elway, decided I needed another coffee before the parade and left the library. She never stopped talking at me the whole time. I stopped nodding politely about 5 minutes in, when I realized she fully did not care.I said good-bye while she continued on about her mud room cleaning "making way for winter clothes". *Sigh* I was on my way to a coffee... I mean a parade.

After I got the coffee in me, we headed out to the street along with 10 000 others. It was even busier than I'd expected. Much, much busier. I wish I were a little less OCD at times like these. My eyes were darting around checking that all my precious commodities were accounted for and safe. I am a bit of a worry wort, but at least I accept it and don't worry about it anymore... that was exhausting. I can't help my self. I would check that Isla was breathing while she slept in her snugli against me about every 2 minutes or less. Elway stood with in an arm length of me the entire time, and I had the eye in the back of my head on our stroller and contents. This would have all been fine, but every now and then something, an elf or whatever, would distract me from monitoring all the checkpoints and my heart would skip a beat. Suddenly I'd grip Elway's shoulder and whip my head around at all the people brushing my shoulders, while poking Isla in the cheek to see her grimace, and then I'd reach for the stroller and survey the situation as safe and realize I should breathe. It was after I did this about 50 times in one hour that I realized I never wanted to take the kids to an event like this again without Jim.

It got worse. My exhausted son started to lose patience. The parade was long. Very, very long. Isla needed to be bounced, Elway ate every snack I brought and drank everything but my coffee. He looked like a zombie and started to complain that he couldn't get on the floats but "other kids were on them', and every helper that passed out apples and noisemakers and stickers, ran out of goods as soon as they saw his or my hand outstretched. The music helped, providing us with a reason to dance, which is incidentally the only reason I didn't get hypothermia as, classically, I dressed my babes for the weather but not myself. To put the cherry on top, we had five "SYKE! Not Santa!!" moments. Parade organizers should ban the dressing up as Santa look alikes, or as Grinch's or Mrs. Claus's as from a distance they all "LOOK LIKE SANTA'S COMING!!". Enough said.

After the parade, the city bus refused to top to pick up my wide load and I walked nearly 5 km with Isla still strapped to my chest and Elway "are we there yet" -ing the whole way. I started right in on the  It was 6 pm before I got in the door. I was just in the nick of time to perform all my housewife/ mommy duties.

But wait... that wasn't the point of this blog. Was it?

When Santa finally arrived on the scene my weary son was so very excited. We saw the sleigh and reindeer and I verified "Yes, Bubba! It's really him!" I haven't been so excited to see St.Nicklaus since I believed in him. There were 9 year olds less impressed than me. I clapped joyously, bouncing my baby girl and grabbing Elway's hand, smiling broadly, and at first he was thrilled too...

Me: Honey, what's the matter?? That's Santa baby! We finally saw him! Now we can go home and write him a letter, and know that every day, he will be checking in his magic snow-globe, watching to make sure you are nice and not naughty, which I know you will be..... Bubba? What's wrong?

He looks like such a sad puppy. All given up inside.

Elway: It's no fair.
Me: About getting on the float Honey?
Elway: I thought a parade was fun, but it's not Momma.
Me: OK... why?
Elway: (shaking his head at the folly) Santa just rode by me Momma. He just kept on going and rode by me!
Me: I told you that was what would happen today, Bear... I am sorry you are upset.
Elway: I had fun with you Mommy, but parades are silly.

So next year, we will be watching from the couch. Can't say I am heartbroken over it. Nope. Not at all. :)