Ahh. Sweet relief, right?
Think again.
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Elway just woke from his unusually short nap. He walks in the room, all bed headed rubbing his eyes.
Elway: Momma. (His words are snippy.) I am up and it's a new day. Could I please have my chocolate calendar?
Me: Oh, Bubba... Daddy and I told you earlier. One a day. You have only just had a nap, so you still have to wait until tomorrow.
Elway: UGGGGGHH!
He stomps out of the room with his hands on his hips. Stops. Turns around and marches right back in.
Elway: Momma!!
Me: Yes...... (I shoot him a look that lets him know he needs to watch his tone with me)
Elway: (Sugary & with a big smile) May I please have a chocolate? I had a nap like a good boy and I think it is tomorrow AND I am right!
I laugh (I can't help it) and his smile disappears.
Me: Bear, honey... it just doesn't work that way. Just because you think it's tomorrow doesn't mean it is.
Elway: Yes it does mean!!!
Me: You mean, it is mean... right?
Elway: No... I'm not mean, you are!
Me: No Bear, I didn't say you were mean, I said ... oh nevermind. You aren't mean. I am not mean. Capiche?
Elway: No. You get me a chocolate and I am capiche.
He has this look on his face like he is going to explode.
I shake my head 'no'. He twists his mouth while his wheels turn on a new plan. He leaves the room.
A minute later I hear curious noises, but I am nursing Isla and don't want to get up.
Me: Elway??? What are you doing??
Elway: Nothing!!
Me: Really? I am coming in there....
Elway: Ok, ok... I am not doing anything..
I go into our room where up high on the tall dresser his advent calender is out of reach. I can tell from the blankets that he was pushing futilely on the bed to try to get on the dresser.
Me: Elway. You cannot climb up there, Honey. it's too high and dangerous. I don't want you to try that again. Do you hear?
I receive a rather sour expression and it is accompanied with a stomp out of the room again. I resume nursing Isla (whom is crying from the interruption of course.)
A good 5 minutes later I am done nursing. He has been very eerily quiet. He walks calmly into the room, and puts his hand on my back and cups my ear with his other hand to whisper: His intent is to be very, very menacing.
Elway: Momma... do you hear? Let me make you understand. If I don't get a chocolate from my calender.. I am going to make mashed potatoes from your toes. Capiche?
I laugh out loud. I don't want to.. I want to tell him to go for a time out, but OMG it's too funny!! And now he is furious...
Elway: WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME???
Me: Oh, Bear.. you are not having any more chocolate... oh, you are too funny... I am sorry..
Elway: I AM NOT FUNNY, I AM SCARY!!
Me: I know you think you are.... (I gain composure now...) but you can't scare me. Go for a time out. You cannot threaten your Mommy and get away with it.
His hands are on his hips.
Me: Go now or else I will not let you have your advent calender at all.. If it is going to be a problem, then Daddy can have your chocolates.
Elway (Starts cry-talking on his way to his room) I tried to give Daddy a chocolate this morning... BUT YOU... YOU wouldn't let us eat more chocolate!!
Me: I know you tried to share with Daddy...but Elway, that isn't what advent calenders are for!
Elway: (I think he says) Are they for happy boys to eat??
Me: They are for happy boys, once a day, until Christmas.
Elway: OK.....(still crying)... do I have to stay in time out? I was just joking!
Me: Oh, you were, were you?
Elway: Ya-huh!!
Me: Yah? Well I don't think so. 2 minutes time out.
After about 30 seconds.
Elway: (Yelling but nicely) Mommy??
Me: (Speaking, because he is only ten feet away from me and there is pretty much never a need to yell to be heard in this house) Yes?
Elway: Could I have an Arrowroot?
Me: Yes... in a minute after time out.
A minute and a half goes by. And I get him and he comes to the kitchen to retrieve his Arrowroot. It's in his hand.
Elway: Mommy? Can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure.
Elway: Would you like to trade me my Arrowroot for a Chocolate?
Me: No.
Elway: Just asking...
Me: Yeah... I know.
And I have how many days left of this?? Oh right... 23. I really have to go shopping now!
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