I am seriously not a big fan of hauling both kids downtown by myself using public transit on an average day, never mind on a day when the whole city shows up. The concept of doing it all over again, gives me anxiety just sitting in my kitchen. Unfortunately for my nerves, Jim and I had been brainstorming on ways to improve our sons behavior (pretty common chat we have) and remembered that last year, we waited too long to take full advantage of the perk for parents of the season! 'Santa is watching and if you are naughty, he might not bring presents in his sleigh for you!!' What a wonderful opportunity to have a new means with which to bribe our son into better behavior. Upon this realization, I just couldn't let the parade pass us by!
Unfortunately the parade time, 2pm, made it impossible for the Bear to have his nap. If only you all knew how truly brave I was to take on a 'no nap day' under these circumstances.
Earlier that day, we got up and went out with daddy for breakfast, then walked to the bank, and stopped at the little Farmers Market in our hood. So, I had to pre-pack my bag of tricks, for when we stopped home real quick before leaving again. It was going to be a very long day. I strapped Isla to my chest, and Elway got in the stroller and we were off. He was ridiculously excited and Isla seemed a little brighter eyed as well, the scent of adventure in the air.
We had a few stops to make on the itinerary. The library near us has been closed for a while, so we would go to the main branch, and my girlfriend Nina works at the Farmers Market so we would have an excuse to do a little browsing there. Then mosey on over to the parade and, like mother of the year, I will get them home in time to make supper, give baths, and have our bedtimes stories for night-nights. Piece of cake.
At first everything seemed to go according to plan. We stopped in to visit Nina at the candy stand where she works, made the fatal error of buying the advent calendar in Elway's earshot with almost 3 weeks to go before he can have the first chocolate. He showed signs of becoming a little thug as he tried to pilfer candies as soon as my back was turned. So I ta-taa-ed on his hand put them back on the shelf, finished up some chit-chat and we were off to the library.
It's a very open concept library, unlike our branch with it's completely contained children's floor. There is a view of the market below, that the bear really enjoyed. There is a 'whole wall of fishies' aquarium that struck his fancy as well. The farm toy table was spotted first and that was a pretty good time, but then he saw the Thomas the Train table with "a super windy bridge" and "WAY more trains than our library!!". This had all his attention and I knew would keep it. Which was a total blessing because, after trying the nursing room four times and getting excessive drool on my shirt I decided to nurse Isla, right smack dab in the middle of everything. This can be tricky if he isn't captivated and all of the sudden takes off. I am incapacitated to get after him in a big hurry without plunking Isla down in the stroller and running off with unladylike composure. But between the trains and the talkative lady beside me's son Kyle who was 9 and reported to have Tourette Syndrome occupying his attention, I felt it was a pretty safe bet that I could get at a good feeding in Isla. He played quite well really. A few times he would try to hog a toy, or try to boss Kyle around, but Kyle was nobodies lackey. Kyle just put my Bubba right back in his place, and I was fine with that. Kyle's mom however, lets just be polite and say she was not my acquired taste for company. The acronym TMI comes to mind. In a matter of ten minutes I learned the 'challenges' of all her children and her husband, their faith, their homeschooling practices, where she and her hubby Nick hailed from, her entire family including her sisters and parents dietary requirements, her pets names, Frieda the cat and Ludwig the dog. I learned that they have a 1995 Dodge Caravan, where it is parked for the parade, where she parked for the last three years of parades, what snacks they brought, and which ones she would be purchasing at the market before they headed down there. There's more, and no I don't forget, but you get the idea.
I nursed, changed Isla's but, walked around picking out books, loaded up the stroller again, grabbed Elway, decided I needed another coffee before the parade and left the library. She never stopped talking at me the whole time. I stopped nodding politely about 5 minutes in, when I realized she fully did not care.I said good-bye while she continued on about her mud room cleaning "making way for winter clothes". *Sigh* I was on my way to a coffee... I mean a parade.
After I got the coffee in me, we headed out to the street along with 10 000 others. It was even busier than I'd expected. Much, much busier. I wish I were a little less OCD at times like these. My eyes were darting around checking that all my precious commodities were accounted for and safe. I am a bit of a worry wort, but at least I accept it and don't worry about it anymore... that was exhausting. I can't help my self. I would check that Isla was breathing while she slept in her snugli against me about every 2 minutes or less. Elway stood with in an arm length of me the entire time, and I had the eye in the back of my head on our stroller and contents. This would have all been fine, but every now and then something, an elf or whatever, would distract me from monitoring all the checkpoints and my heart would skip a beat. Suddenly I'd grip Elway's shoulder and whip my head around at all the people brushing my shoulders, while poking Isla in the cheek to see her grimace, and then I'd reach for the stroller and survey the situation as safe and realize I should breathe. It was after I did this about 50 times in one hour that I realized I never wanted to take the kids to an event like this again without Jim.
It got worse. My exhausted son started to lose patience. The parade was long. Very, very long. Isla needed to be bounced, Elway ate every snack I brought and drank everything but my coffee. He looked like a zombie and started to complain that he couldn't get on the floats but "other kids were on them', and every helper that passed out apples and noisemakers and stickers, ran out of goods as soon as they saw his or my hand outstretched. The music helped, providing us with a reason to dance, which is incidentally the only reason I didn't get hypothermia as, classically, I dressed my babes for the weather but not myself. To put the cherry on top, we had five "SYKE! Not Santa!!" moments. Parade organizers should ban the dressing up as Santa look alikes, or as Grinch's or Mrs. Claus's as from a distance they all "LOOK LIKE SANTA'S COMING!!". Enough said.After the parade, the city bus refused to top to pick up my wide load and I walked nearly 5 km with Isla still strapped to my chest and Elway "are we there yet" -ing the whole way. I started right in on the It was 6 pm before I got in the door. I was just in the nick of time to perform all my housewife/ mommy duties.
But wait... that wasn't the point of this blog. Was it?
When Santa finally arrived on the scene my weary son was so very excited. We saw the sleigh and reindeer and I verified "Yes, Bubba! It's really him!" I haven't been so excited to see St.Nicklaus since I believed in him. There were 9 year olds less impressed than me. I clapped joyously, bouncing my baby girl and grabbing Elway's hand, smiling broadly, and at first he was thrilled too...
Me: Honey, what's the matter?? That's Santa baby! We finally saw him! Now we can go home and write him a letter, and know that every day, he will be checking in his magic snow-globe, watching to make sure you are nice and not naughty, which I know you will be..... Bubba? What's wrong?
He looks like such a sad puppy. All given up inside.
Elway: It's no fair.
Me: About getting on the float Honey?
Elway: I thought a parade was fun, but it's not Momma.
Me: OK... why?
Elway: (shaking his head at the folly) Santa just rode by me Momma. He just kept on going and rode by me!
Me: I told you that was what would happen today, Bear... I am sorry you are upset.
Elway: I had fun with you Mommy, but parades are silly.
So next year, we will be watching from the couch. Can't say I am heartbroken over it. Nope. Not at all. :)
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